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THE MODEL RELIGIOUS OUGHT TO LIVE ACCORDING TO THE SPIRIT AND NOT ACCORDING TO THE FLESH
The best sign that I am quite imperfect is this, that I could not understand this meditation at all. Neither could I apply it to myself, even though, as in previous meditations, I asked Jesus to help me recognize the evil which is in me. However, he completely withheld the grace of the Holy Spirit from me and I could not hear his voice at all.
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FERVOR IN THE SERVICE OF GOD
I behave entirely differently from the Saints of God. The more they understood God, the more they served him, the greater love thy showed him, the more fervent and accurate they were in everything which referred to his glory. The lack of knowledge about God, after all, is the only reason for a lack of love and a lack of enthusiasm in his service.
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POVERTY
Every religious is obliged to practice poverty, above all, every son and daughter of Saint Francis. He practiced this virtue in a special way, loved it above all others, desired it most, pursued it constantly, and considered it the greatest treasure. He guarded it carefully so that no one would take it away from him or encroach upon it. He advocated this virtue in a special way to his spiritual sons and daughters and left it to them as a singular legacy.
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THE VIRTUE OF OBEDIENCE
O God, my God, what is happening to me; in what a dark and paralyzing state you are keeping me! I understand myself less and less. It is more difficult to examine my real disposition – what I resent and what I real like. I not only lost my affection for your, but you took away from me the thrill of seeing beauty in all virtues. Meditating on all the virtues which I was considering up to this moment, I did not completely understand whether I have that virtue, whether I practice it or whether I act just the opposite; whether I understand its beauty and its nobility. I am cold and indifferent towards everything like a stone.
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THE LOVE OF NEIGHBOR
O Lord you said: Ask, and you will receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and it will be opened to you. And here I am asking you for such a long time and seeking so earnestly that my strength is failing, and life has become a burden. I somehow cannot seem to appease you, neither can I find what my soul needs so much and which my heart constantly desires. Why, O Lord, are you deaf to my pleading? Why do you not want to give your Spouse that for which she craves so much? Are you doing this to test me and to humble me? Should I look upon this as a sign of your rejection or as a punishment? After all, I am not asking you for anything that is evil, harmful towards my salvation or opposed to your glory. I am asking you for that which you demand in your commandment; which you yourself consider as the first and the greatest. I keep begging you for love towards you and my neighbor and do not recognize either of these in myself. You do not allow me to experience this feeling even for a moment, neither do you give me the grace to show it in action The more I desire it, the more I feel devoid of it. On the contrary, the feeling is reversed. My behavior is the opposite of what I desire and understand.
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HUMILITY
I assure you unless you change and become like little children, you will not enter the Kingdom of God. He who humbles himself will be exalted. Learn from me for I am gentle and humble of heart.
All of these lessons of the Savior clearly show us that we should not only strive for humility, but that without it, we will not be saved; neither can we expect graces from God nor call ourselves imitators of Jesus Christ. He not only encouraged us with words to practice this virtue, but constantly taught it by giving us an example.